Five years ago, a long time rugby friend of mine started what has become an annual tradition of the Movember polar bear dip. Evan began this tradition as a way to put a spotlight on mens mental health and encouraging men in the sport of rugby and beyond to start a conversation about their own mental health. 

Rugby is this historically ‘macho’ sport that has harboured a deep rooted history of cloaking your emotions. To not let your opponent see when you’re hurt. To ‘suck it up’ and keep playing. This practice of hiding your pain has gone beyond physical pain and has crept it’s way to psychological pain. 

The first time I experienced the loss of a rugby teammate to suicide was in 2009. Twice more since then in 2014 and 2018. The idea that 3 men I’d shared the rugby pitch felt their only option to deal with their pain was suicide bothered me for a long time. I felt that had any of these three men reached out to myself or any other teammate to ask for help, we’d have been there for that man immediately. 

I’ve come to realize, looking back, that there was, and still is, a culture in rugby in which men feel weak asking for help. That the ‘suck it up’ ideology had permeated through the sport leaving men feeling isolated and hiding their psychological pain from their teammates. 

I recognize that there has been progress, and men are increasingly opening up to the idea of talking about their own well-being. But we aren’t all the way there yet.

Evan started the Movember Dip as a way to start talking about his own struggles and how he has been coping with them. That spoke a lot to me when I first saw his posts and the steps he’d taken to cope. I want this event to continue to shed that light for men of the rugby community and even further, to other ‘macho’ communities that harbour this ‘tough it out’ approach. Communities like first responders, construction guys, tradesmen, or any space where there has historically been a lack of open dialogue about mens mental health. 

My hope is that we can start to grow this event and spread this message to men everywhere and to see a change in how men talk about getting help. I’d like to see those conversations about their psychological injuries happen like talking about a broken bone or sprained ankle. That it’s not weak to go see somebody for help but to view it as treatment to get you feeling better quicker. I’d like our community and all the others talking about going to see a psychotherapist like we talk about going to see a physiotherapist. 

Ultimately, I don’t want to lose another man I’ve shared the rugby pitch with and I don’t want other rugby players to lose men they’ve shared the pitch with. I believe participation in events like these can help men come together and feel safe to have those conversations with each other. 

What’s different about this year

This year my fund raising goal is $3,164. If I reach that total, I will have reach, I believe to be a special milestone, of $20,000 of lifetime donations to Movember.