Mo Bro Hayden TrickerImage by: Movember
20 June 2022

Hayden’s Story: Living My Authentic Life

Mo Bro
Hayden Tricker
3 minutes read time

I grew up in a small town in Ontario where there was no LGBTQ representation. I didn’t even know what the acronym was. Because it’s a small town, with old beliefs, it just wasn’t seen or known or even taught.

I was born female, but I didn’t like the sorts of things that five-year-old females typically like. I wanted to play in the dirt, four-wheel, and dress as Darth Vader for Halloween. I didn’t know then what I know now, but all these things were gender affirming growing up. At the time, I just wanted to fit in.

Finding and giving myself the space to discover who I am and what I want has always led me on the right path. First, going to college gave me the space to be away from my family and create a new life for myself, allowing me to explore my sexuality, my appearance, and my identity. After that, I gave myself the space to take myself off that traditional path of going to school, getting a job, and starting a family, and instead channeled my creativity and positive energy into building a community on TikTok. On TikTok I started seeing a lot more people, a lot more personalities and authenticity around the world. People speaking up, saying you’re allowed to wear whatever you want, like whoever you want, and be whoever you want to be.

When I moved to Vancouver, I started to fall back in love with all the things I used to like as a kid: nature, water, the forest. I started to do my reiki certification and practice mindfulness and meditation. The process of reiki helped to do the inner work, to acknowledge and shed anything that was no longer serving me. I watched for what was coming up when I sat with my thoughts, having an awareness of my body. I spent a lot of time sitting with this and asking myself those questions about who I was.

" I looked at myself in the mirror, able to actually see myself for the first time – without the conditions of what anyone else had taught me to see. I saw myself as who I am today: Hayden. "

I saw trans folks on social media, following their journey of living this life, with their exterior matching their interior. I saw that in me, and it helped me build the confidence within myself to start opening up those layers; changing my pronouns, changing my name, and coming out as trans. I just wanted to be happy, and I knew that coming out and being authentic to myself would do that and also inspire a lot of people. I wanted to be the representation that I needed when I was little, because I hadn’t seen it and I didn’t know that it was even a possibility. I wanted to show that every step of the journey is still valid, from starting on testosterone to growing my first moustache.

For me, pride is being unapologetically who you are, and accepting everyone else. I know we put labels on everything, but I think pride is more about giving that unconditional love and acceptance to whoever and being inclusive to everyone, regardless of labels. It’s about loving who you are and those who are around you. You have to show that unconditional love to yourself to be able to show that to others.

Support Hayden's efforts to raise funds and awareness for men’s health and follow Hayden’s journey on Instagram and TikTok.