Kathy’s Real Face story: We can’t let stigma impact the next generation of boys and men

Kathy Wakaluk-Yanco is a mom to a son in his 20s, a caregiver to her father who’s living with prostate cancer, and a Mo Sister who’s a leader in her workplace pushing for better men’s health outcomes.

Why men’s health matters

Men often feel pressured to bottle up their emotions and suppress any display of vulnerability or empathy. This not only affects that individual, but has the potential for a ripple effect for generations. I want to be there as a resource and outlet to help them understand that it is okay to be vulnerable, and to validate their feelings.

When my son was in his teen years, he woke up one morning and told me he no longer wanted to live. I remember immediately my heart racing and panicking, thinking I needed to save him and knowing I was not equipped with the tools to help him. Even with some prior training with mental health, this was different because this was my child. He was just a teenager, a boy who was smart, popular and athletic, the boy who would always be there to help a friend. He was well-mannered, and kind. He was not supposed to feel this kind of pain.

Since that morning that my son shared his struggles with me, I strive for a more open relationship with him. I listen more and talk less. I listen to not only what he says, but how he says it. I support the decisions he makes and realize it is okay if he falls. It is the journey of getting back up that helps them grow.

26% of men feel stigma engaging with health education. Among young men, that jumps to 39%. Are we spending enough time and resources talking to this age group to learn to understand what is the best way to reach them, to educate them and to help them? As a female, am I educating myself to be able to help the men I know to be able to have those healthy conversations with them? Too often I hear that the system Is failing.

Our men are more than just stats

Behind every statistic is a son, a father, a partner or a friend, their lives matter, and they deserve better. Too many men In Canada are suffering in silence, dying too young from preventable disease, struggling with their mental health and feeling they have nowhere to turn. Prioritizing men's health means saving lives, supporting families, and strengthening our communities.

Having a men's health strategy would allow us to look closer at the unique health challenges that often go unaddressed with men. It will allow us to raise more awareness, encourage early intervention, promote healthier lifestyles and target prevention efforts for the high-risk groups.

Having a strategy will help to ensure that men do not need to suffer in silence -- it is a step towards saving lives. It matters not only for the men, but for our families and our communities and the future

The future state of men’s health

We need to let boys know it is okay to feel, to cry to talk about what is going on inside. Raise them to believe that vulnerability is not a weakness, but instead, courage. Teach them that strength is not about silence, it lies in being kind, open and honest about their struggles. It is about being real with themselves and the people they love right from a very young age.

I think we have come a long way to help reduce the stigma and remove barriers for men’s health, but there is so much more that needs to be done in this area. I want my grandkids and the generations thereafter to grow up in a society where it is the norm to talk about what is going on inside with fear of judgement.