Jordan is an avid runner, owns and runs his own business and is two years sober. For the past two years, he’s run the 282 Run during November for the 282 men Canada loses to suicide every month. Jordan shares how running changed his life after losing his father.
The impact of losing my father
Most of my life I don’t remember my dad being depressed at all. It was only in the year leading up to his passing that I started to see the alcohol and depression start to take over. I try to not use this year to define my dad, but use every other year we had together as my true memories of him. Alcohol is a poison that turns people into something they truly are not and it did exactly that to my dad.
When he died, I just tried to move on as quickly as I could. I told myself it didn’t affect me, but being 26 at the time, who was I to understand what kind of strain this was going to have on my life?
I partied hard.
I moved to Australia and just kind of ran away from everything. But while I was there, my depression and alcohol started to take over my life. It’s hard being on the other side of the world away from friends and family and ignoring mourning. Confusion is a small word to describe this time in my life. I turned to no one. Forced a smile on my face and lied and said everything was great. Just like my old man.
Flipping the script on harmful masculine stereotypes
I remember my father instilling these stereotypes in me when I played sports. “If your legs aren’t broken, you better get to the bench. Don’t lay on the field.” Back in his day, it was a sense of pride in being able to dust yourself off with no one else’s help. But our generation is dealing with the repercussions.
After my dad died, I drank to forget and partied to keep my mind off of my mental health. I was the most depressed I’ve ever been in my entire life. My girlfriend breaking up with me was the last straw. I took a week off work and flew home to get the help I needed. Signing up for the Vancouver Sun Run changed everything. I realized running gave me a dopamine high. I also realized that running hungover was awful. This was my fuel to stay sober. Now, I am two years sober and plan to help people realize there are more things in life to smile about than just drinking.
My message about why men’s health should be a priority
I wish I could share a lot of things with my dad. Like that sobriety is winning. If I could go back, I would help him realize the first win is putting the booze away and then the wins just keep on coming.
My father was a worker in an oil refinery. This industry has a history of mental health and addiction struggles. If the government were to help set up support groups or easily accessible mental health resources within industries like that, we would see change. We need a men’s health strategy in Canada because mental health issues are very common among men and suicide is the fourth leading causes of death of men in Canada. If we can reach the dads who are struggling to take their kid to hockey because of anxiety, or the man who goes to work through the symphony of depression he has going on in his head, we will help save more lives.