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Doug MacMillan
1  year  Mo Bro

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Target: $5,000
raised $6,780 since 2024
My motivation
Fundraising for cause areas including:
Men's health

“Men” is right there in “Mental Health”.

On September 27, my brother Clay died by suicide. He was 56. He lived alone. When we talked, which wasn’t often, we chatted about baseball, books, the Marvel Universe, or great TV like Dexter, Ozark or Succession. We never had a conversation about mental health. The men in our family didn’t talk about those things.

Smart and curious, Clay knew every stat of every Blue Jay and Maple Leaf. He’d read every Stephen King story at least once. In a family of 7, he was our quiet one. Clay didn’t ask a lot of others. He didn’t ask for attention.

He didn’t ask for help.

I’d like to say we didn’t see this coming; that his family, friends and coworkers are shocked, saddened and overwhelmed – and beyond a doubt we are. But then, in the exploration of our loss, I’ve heard “we knew he was a bit depressed” and “he did seem to have a lot of anxiety” and “I guess maybe it’s not a surprise” and “I wish he had reached out”.

And even, “I wish I’d reached out to him more.” That one’s been on my mind a fair bit.

Clay and I were not close. I couldn’t find a photograph of us together to include with this profile. We were brothers more than friends. And as I continue to explore my relationship with him and his passing, I know for certain that one thing needs to happen:

We must break down the absolutely fucking constricting stigma men carry about our mental health and getting help.

One step I’m taking is to join the Movember movement for the first time. In honour of Clay, and as one small step toward my personal reconciliation with his passing, I’m letting my facial hair take a mind of its own. It won’t be pretty. It will be uncomfortable. Much like men talking about our mental health.

But I know once things get moving, I’ll get comfortable with it. I’ll learn how to manage it. Much like men talking about our mental health.

If you can help with a donation, or just by having a conversation with men you know about mental health and therapy, or taking a step towards your own mental wellness, that would be a nice way to help honour Clay’s memory and hopefully prevent another man taking his life.

D.

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I'm moving 60km this Movember for the 60 men we lose each hour of every day.
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98 Week(s) Ago
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Thanks for sparking this growing conversation!

98 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
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Thanks for sparking this growing conversation!

98 Week(s) Ago
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Previous year's activities
99 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:46:00

99 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:46:00

99 Week(s) Ago
I walked 2.5 km00:30:00

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99 Week(s) Ago
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99 Week(s) Ago
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99 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
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99 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
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99 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5.2 km00:47:00

99 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5.2 km00:47:00

99 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
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$20
99 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
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99 Week(s) Ago
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99 Week(s) Ago
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99 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
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Grateful for who you are and what you do.

99 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Curt Hammond
$50

Grateful for who you are and what you do.

99 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5.2 km00:47:00

99 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5.2 km00:47:00

100 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:46:00

100 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:46:00

100 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:45:00

100 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:45:00

100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Mike Hryn
$250
100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Mike Hryn
$250
100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Monica Mazun
$50

Way to go Doug!

100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Monica Mazun
$50

Way to go Doug!

100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Ian Panabaker
$100

Go Doug!
IP

100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Ian Panabaker
$100

Go Doug!
IP

100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Leslie Patterson
$50

Sorry to hear about Clay. It's about time though you joined us bearded folk - welcome! Joshing aside, please take care of yourself as you cope with this loss.

100 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Leslie Patterson
$50

Sorry to hear about Clay. It's about time though you joined us bearded folk - welcome! Joshing aside, please take care of yourself as you cope with this loss.

101 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:46:00

101 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:46:00

101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Regina Scott
$50
101 Week(s) Ago
I walked 2.8 km00:35:00

101 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:45:00

101 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:46:00

101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Bob Reid
$100

Doug, I had no idea. My condolences to you and your family, and here's some help in Clay's memory.

101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Melinda Prain
$25
101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
an anonymous supporter
$100

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this journey. Having said that, you are not alone on your journey.

One day at a time. Please make sure those days are without guilt. Even though you weren’t close with Clay ;if you look at the big picture you actually have done a lot to support Clay for many years.

Sending love and light,

Brenda

101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
A Olson
$30
101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Anita Civiero
$50
101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Skyler Hammond
$50

Hi Doug, you're an inspiration! I was incredibly sorry to hear of your brother's passing. Juliane and I are thinking of you and wishing you all the very best with this month's journey.

101 Week(s) Ago
Donation from:
Laurie Rice
$50

I’m so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. You’ve had too much of this in your life.

101 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:45:00

102 Week(s) Ago
I walked 1 km00:20:00

102 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:45:00

102 Week(s) Ago
I walked 4 km00:35:00

102 Week(s) Ago
I walked 5 km00:45:00

102 Week(s) Ago
I walked 1.4 km00:20:00

103 Week(s) Ago
I walked 4.5 km00:40:00

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