Depression is something I had never experienced. While like all people I have had some pain in my life, I had never felt the full polarity of being plunged into the depths of depression, until January 2017. It came on very quickly, almost overnight, and I spent 12 months where every day felt like a battle to survive.
It was a moment to moment existence. I would tell myself, "It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright." It became somewhat of a mantra for me. And then, as quickly as it came, on January 1st 2018, exactly 12 months later, the dark cloud lifted. I know that may sound strange, and I am fortunate to have dipped into the darkest of places for a relatively short period, but it just stopped. It feels like a distant memory to me.
Although I was reminded of just how severe this disease can be when one of my best girlfriends took her own life in late 2018 after struggling for half her life with depression. She was so beautiful. She tried absolutely everything you can imagine, and while there were periods of lightness, she was always burdened by the threat of oncoming darkness.
I can look back now at my experience with a lot of gratitude. It was something I must have had to experience to become who I am today. To be a better father, husband, friend and songwriter.
'Inner Love' represents my journey from dark to light. The chorus is my past mantra, "It's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright." While the solution, for me anyway, comes in the pre-chorus, 'Inner love, inner love, inner love, inner love." This song has a feeling of hope. The journey out of the darkest places. My wish is for anyone experiencing tough times or mental health, or even love can feel this songs message.